Archive for January, 2015

The Ballad of Hideki Irabu

Posted in non-de Jesus related on January 23, 2015 by wechslerh66

Hideki Irabu

I should have stayed in San Diego
No one hates in San Diego
You can hear Tom Waits in San Diego
I never saw the morning till I stayed up all night

New York’s a sad and lonely town
when Velvet Elvis no longer comes around
No one bothers to boo when you take the mound
till moments seemed years, torture and solitude
Prometheus Unbound

Sometimes I feel like a fatherless son
& the men I know scare the shit out of me
I want to become what I cannot not hate
I know why Kurt Cobain sang “beat me out of me”

At a bar in Osaka I contemplate time
wondering when I left West LA
or maybe I’m nowhere, nowhere like home
I’m a lonely frog, I ain’t got a home

& Ryujin the dragon god hangs on the wall
someone to watch over me
Someday my luck will change for the better
Someday these demons will leave

I was banished to Montréal like the Spaceman Bill Lee
Told Texas Sayonara like Sparky Lyle
Made a comeback with Kochi but it all went wrong
Owned an udon joint far from the Miracle Mile

Now the lights are out & I’m all alone
with these weeping willows & this hanging tree
Sapporo, ramen, & these beckoning ghosts
Angels & Indians on satellite TV

Hideki Irabu career (MLB): 34-35, 5.15, 514 IP, 175 BB, 405 K, 4 CG, 2 ShO, 16 SV, 89 ERA+
Hideki Irabu career (Japan): 72-69, 3.55, 1286 IP, 558 BB, 1282 K, 43 CG, 3 ShO, 11 SV

Also worth reading:

“Pitching from behind: The sad road of Japanese pitcher Hideki Irabu” by Robert Whiting

“Irabu spent final days lost, without purpose” by Robert Whiting

“Attitude, lifestyle contributed to Irabu’s demise” by Robert Whiting

“Irabu’s impact on MLB-NPB relations profound” by Robert Whiting

“The Complicated Life and Death of Hideki Irabu,” by Ben Reiter

Hideki Irabu card courtesy of http://japanesebaseballcards.blogspot.com/2011/07/rip-hideki-irabu.html.

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Epaminondas and Ned Yost

Posted in non-de Jesus related on January 2, 2015 by wechslerh66

One day Epaminondas visited his aunt, who gave him cake to bring home to his mother.

He held it tightly in his hands as he walked home. When he reached home with nothing but crumbs, his mother scolded him, telling him the proper way to carry cake is to wrap it in leaves and wear it in his hat.

The next time Epaminondas visited his aunt, she gave him a pound of butter to bring home to his mother.

He wrapped the butter in leaves and wore it in his hat as he walked home under the hot summer sun. When he reached home covered in melted butter, his mother scolded him, telling him the proper way to carry butter is to wrap in leaves, cool it in water, and carry it home in his hands as quickly as he can.

The next time Epaminondas visited his aunt, she gave him a puppy to bring home to his mother.

He wrapped the puppy in leaves, cooled it in water, and carried it home in his hands as quickly as he could. When he reached home with a wet dog, his mother scolded him, telling him the proper way to carry a puppy is to tie one end of a string gently around its neck and lead it home with the other end.

The next time Epaminondas visited his aunt, she gave him a loaf of bread to bring home to his mother.

He tied one end of a string around the loaf of bread and took the other end in his hand, dragging it home in the dirt. When he reached home with a dust-covered loaf of bread, his mother scolded him.

This is why Kelvin Herrera, Wade Davis, and Greg Holland will combine to pitch 40 percent of the 2015 Royals’ regular season innings, requiring season-ending Tommy John surgeries by mid-June, and Ned Yost will be fired by July.