À la recherche du temps perdu

Lisa, watching on TV as Giancarlo Stanton crushes a 470 foot home run into the outfield concourse off Jonathan Pettibone: “There’s nobody in the stands. Where are all the fans?”

Hop: “It’s the 2014 Phillies. In fact, the only games they’ll sell out this season will be–” (walks over to refrigerator, removes 2014 schedule magnet, checks for Yankees and Red Sox home games, notices there aren’t any, checks for fireworks games around July 4th, notices the Phillies will be on the road from June 30-July 10, checks for “We’re Giving Away Beer, a Truck, and Lots of Dangerous Weapons for Free” night, notices it doesn’t exist, puts magnet down) “–I don’t think the Phillies will sell out any games this season.”