Caveat Edler


Words of warning: do NOT buy Flyers tickets from a sixtysomething, somewhat lame black scalper outside the Wells Fargo Center named Eddie. Especially (on the off chance you’re dumb enough to be tempted to– I was, and did) do not buy e-tickets.

Being a Canucks fan, a Flyers fan, a law student with a rare off night, and too cheap for StubHub (minimum $39 plus lots of extras), I went to Broad Street on Wednesday night for the Flyers’ home opener vs. Vancouver. I bought one of two $91 e-tickets from Eddie for $30, who originally quoted me $50, then $40 as I walked away– which was dumb to begin with, because:

a. he would have taken $25 (my original counteroffer), but I only had two twenties and two tens on me, and
b. it was a fucking e-ticket.

Of course, when the Wells Fargo ticket taker went to scan it, it had already been scanned and was therefore defective, meaning it was either a duplicate copy or had been cancelled by the owner (according to an apparently unrelated scalper I was talking to on the subway afterwards, when a season ticket holder is burned by a scalper he sells to, he can call the Flyers and cancel the tickets so they won’t work, meaning everyone loses).†

†My theory is that scalper #2 was just defending Eddie as a fellow scalper, and Eddie was just an old lame scalper with a bunch of defective tickets.

I tracked Eddie down at the opposite end of the Wells Fargo Center. What’s hilarious is, he didn’t recognize me and actually tried to sell me the other e-ticket.

Me: You really don’t want to do that.
Eddie: Hunh?
Me: Recognize this? (holds up defective e-ticket #1)
Eddie: Awwww, shit—

Scalpers never offer refunds, but after blaming his supplier and seeming disingenuously befuddled, Eddie tore up the other ticket and gave it to me when I asked.

Scalping is depressing work. Scalpers– or at least the lower-level ones who work the streets– are mostly older, unhealthy (COPD? diabetes?), unwealthy black men outdoors in crappy weather (we were all eventually drenched on Wednesday night) who rely on mostly young, conspicuously wealthy white males who may want something for nothing, but can always come up with something.

We’re all desperate, true, but some of us are more desperate than others. Now I’m out thirty bucks. Eddie’s out a defective e-ticket. Sometimes, no one wins. Unless, of course, you’re the Flyers, who beat the Canucks, 5-4; who are now 3-0 for the 11th time in 44 seasons; and who have someone’s, if not someone else’s, $91. Hell, Blair Betts is even back in town.

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One Response to “Caveat Edler”

  1. […] I ordered tickets in advance this time. […]

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